Dating in Nigeria can be wonderful — but it comes with a set of risks that are worth knowing before you get emotionally invested. Whether you are meeting people online or through mutual connections, certain patterns of behaviour are warning signs that the person in front of you may not be who they say they are, or may not have your best interests at heart. These 8 red flags are specific to the Nigerian dating context and should never be dismissed or explained away.
1. They Ask for Money Early in the Relationship
This is the most common and most damaging red flag in Nigerian online dating. A person who asks for money — no matter how reasonable the reason sounds — before you have met in person and built genuine trust is almost certainly running a romance scam or testing how far your generosity goes. The requests usually start small: transport money, data recharge, a small emergency. Then they escalate.
No genuine romantic interest requires your financial assistance before you have even had your first real date. If someone you met online is asking you to send money, stop the conversation immediately.
2. Love Bombing — Too Much Too Soon
Love bombing is when someone overwhelms you with intense affection, compliments, and declarations of love extremely early in the relationship — often within days or even hours of meeting. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." "I have never felt this way before." "I think you are my soulmate." Said after three days of chatting online.
This is not romance. It is a manipulation tactic designed to bypass your critical thinking and create emotional dependency before you have had the chance to actually evaluate the person. Genuine attraction develops over time. Be suspicious of anyone who rushes the emotional intensity of a new connection.
3. They Refuse to Video Call
In 2026, there is almost no legitimate reason for someone you met on a dating platform to refuse a video call after a reasonable amount of time chatting. Video calls are free, widely accessible, and the natural next step in online communication. A person who consistently makes excuses — bad network, camera broken, not comfortable yet — and never actually gets on a video call with you is very likely not who their profile pictures suggest.
Always video call before investing significant emotional energy in an online connection. If they will not video call, treat the situation as a potential catfish.
4. Their Story Does Not Add Up
Pay attention to the details people share about themselves over time. A person with genuine intentions will have a consistent life story — their job, their family situation, their location, their background will all align across different conversations. Someone who is not being honest will have inconsistencies. They mentioned they are based in Lagos last week but now say they are in Abuja for work for three months. They said they have two siblings but now mention three. They said they work in oil and gas but cannot name their company when asked directly.
These inconsistencies are not accidents. Pay attention and take them seriously.
5. They Isolate You From Your Support System
A serious red flag in any relationship — but particularly common in Nigerian dating scams — is when someone tries to pull you away from your friends and family. "Your friends do not understand our connection." "Your sister is just jealous of what we have." "You spend too much time with other people instead of focusing on us."
This is a deliberate strategy to reduce the number of people in your life who might challenge what is happening or encourage you to think critically. A person who genuinely loves you will encourage your relationships with the people who care about you — not compete with them.
6. They Are Vague About Their Life Details
When you ask direct questions about someone's life — where exactly they work, what their family is like, where they grew up — and the answers are consistently vague or deflected, that is a warning sign. "I work in finance." "My family is complicated." "I grew up around." Genuine people who are interested in building a real relationship are not secretive about the basic facts of their lives. Vagueness protects people who are hiding something.
7. They Push Intimacy Before Commitment
A person who consistently pushes for physical or sexual progression before the relationship has any real foundation of commitment, trust, or clarity is showing you what they actually want. This is especially important in the context of Nigerian dating culture where physical intimacy is often connected to serious relationship expectations for one party but not the other.
If someone is more interested in where the physical side of things is going than in actually getting to know you, building genuine connection, or discussing what the relationship actually is — take note of that imbalance.
8. Your Instincts Are Telling You Something Is Wrong
This one is not dramatic. It is simply true. If something feels off — if a conversation makes you uncomfortable, if a request seems strange, if a story does not sit right, if you feel pressured in a way you cannot quite articulate — trust that feeling. Nigerian women and men who have been through bad dating experiences almost universally say the same thing: "I knew something was wrong early on but I ignored it."
Your instincts are data. They are picking up on small inconsistencies and pressure patterns before your conscious mind has processed them fully. Do not dismiss them to be polite or to avoid awkwardness. Your emotional and financial safety matters more than someone else's comfort.
How to Protect Yourself When Dating in Nigeria
- Always use a platform that verifies profiles before allowing interaction
- Video call before your first in-person meeting
- Never send money to someone you have not met in person
- Tell a trusted friend or family member who you are meeting and where
- Meet in public places for all early dates
- Trust your instincts — they are almost always right
The best way to reduce your exposure to dating red flags in Nigeria is to start on a platform that takes verification seriously. MyPerson.ng verifies every profile with a selfie before it goes live — so you are always talking to a real person, not a scammer with a stolen photo. Create your free profile today.