First Messages That Get Replies: A Guide for Nigerian Men

Ask any woman on a dating app what her inbox looks like and she will say the same thing: "hi," "hello dear," "how are you beautiful." Fifty of them, all alike. If you want first messages that get replies, the secret is simple. Show that you read her profile.

Why "hi" fails

It asks her to do all the work. She must start the conversation, find a topic and decide if you are worth the effort. Most women will not.

The three part formula

1. A greeting that is short and warm. "Good evening" works. 2. One detail from her profile. A photo, a hobby, a prompt answer, a city. 3. A question she can answer easily.

### Examples

• "Good evening. I saw you love jollof debates. Party jollof or smoky jollof?"
• "Hello. Your photo at Lekki Conservation Centre made me smile. Did you see the monkeys?"
• "Good morning. You said you love Afrobeats. Who is on your playlist this week?"
• "Hello. I noticed you are a nurse. That is hard work. How is your week going?"

Short, specific and easy to answer.

What to avoid

• Compliments only about her body. She hears them all day.
• Heavy words such as "my queen" or "my wife." It sounds like a script.
• Asking for her number in the first message.
• Long paragraphs about yourself.
• Jokes that rely on insult or pressure.

If her profile is thin

Not every profile has much. Then use a gentle general question. "What does a perfect Saturday look like for you?" is fine. You can also reply to her voice answer or prompt if she has one. See how profile prompts and voice answers work.

After she replies

Keep the rhythm. Answer her questions and ask your own. Share a little about yourself. Avoid interrogating her. Move to a voice or video call when you both feel comfortable. Free calls on MyPerson make that easy. Read why calling first helps.

If she does not reply

Do not send "why are you ignoring me." Accept it and move on. A woman may be busy, may not be interested or may not have seen it. One polite follow up after a few days is the maximum.

Make your profile do the work

A good message gets her to your profile. Make sure it holds up: clear photos, a real bio and a verified badge. Read how Nigerian men can stand out without spending money.